capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
