Do vagina's smell?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
