So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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