By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
