Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
