I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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