I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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