k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
