I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
