there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
