her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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