im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
