As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
