man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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