You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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