For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
