if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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