No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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