he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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