It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
