Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
