I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
