You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
