Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
