so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
