I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
