You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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