no, he came in my armpit
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
