remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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