I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
