ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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