I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
