Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
