I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
