How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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