If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
