So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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