I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
