Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
