She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
