My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
