what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
