Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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