so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
