There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
