Christians are straight up FREAKS
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
