There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
