dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
