I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You took a bar mat shot.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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