So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
