apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
