Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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